My Breastfeeding & Postpartum Journey

Hello Darling!

Wow, where do I even begin. If I am being honest I have put this blog post off for too long. Breastfeeding can be a daunting and very taboo topic to approach. Though very personal, having reached the end of my journey I believe it is so important to talk about and normalize. So here I am showing up, ready and expectant to share my breastfeeding & postpartum journey.

My Breastfeeding Journey

This has been the most requested blog post by far and that is so exciting to me. As a first time mom, I truly wish someone would have been honest with me about their breastfeeding journey. So if I can be that word of encouragement, piece of knowledge, or open book to any of you mamas out there I feel beyond honored.

To begin, I want to preface that every one is different and every breastfeeding journey is different. I encourage you to step into this blog post with open eyes to learn and NOT to compare. 

The Hospital

To be very honest, while pregnant I was not worried about breastfeeding in the slightest. In my mind it was something that naturally happens without struggle or complication. I had never really witnessed anyone close to me go through the breastfeeding journey and I was very naive to the hard work it entailed. Like most first time parents, we took the classes, checked off our to do lists and believed and trusted we were totally prepared.

Minutes after having Isla Grace, she latched with ease. It was so exciting for me because this was something I had prayed for. The first night in the hospital was great, she was eating very well. A nurse even complimented me on the amount of colostrum I had. At this point I felt like super woman. Then came night two…

Night two was a little different. Isla Grace began to cluster feed every 15 min. Y’all I was so exhausted and had no idea what I was doing. When she latched it was starting to hurt, so with the encouragement of our sweet nurse we called the lactation consultant. She came in and showed us a few tricks, and helped us get her to latch a little bit better.

One thing I will encourage any new mama our there- please do not be afraid to ask questions. I wish I would have been more brave to ask questions. Pridefully I felt like I had it all under control and it was totally fine. ITS. OKAY. TO. ASK. QUESTIONS. It does make you a bad mom. 

At Home

With tired eyes we headed home and I was very confident that we would figure out this whole breastfeeding thing. I probably should note that I was DETERMINED to exclusively breastfeed for at least 6 months. A great goal to have but I put a lot of pressure on myself.

For the first two weeks, feeding was going okay. She was sleeping SUPER well and seemed to be getting enough milk. Then came our 2 week check up.  Isla Grace was still not back up to her birth weight which was concerning to both Hunter and I. As first time parents the smallest of things made us freak. Her sweet Dr. encouraged us that she was very healthy and that we would just need to continue to keep an eye on things, make sure to feed her every 3 hours and start trying to pump and use a bottle every so often to track how much she was getting.

We went home continued our feeding schedule, followed Islas cues and I would pump as much as I could. I was only pumping maybe an ounce or so after each feed. However, I just thought this was because she had just fed. I really had no knowledge of how much I should be pumping, what signs of a low milk supply were, etc.

We continued to do this until we finally realized we needed help. We contacted our sweet lactation consultant who helped us tremendously. I started following all the accounts, reached out for support and began to build a community around me for support.

Mamas- surrounding yourself with a community is SO important! God called us to community for a reason. 

Low Milk Supply

With the help of our lactation consultant, I was diagnosed with low milk supply. We are not quite sure why I struggled- some believe it is because of my thyroid disorder. There are lots of reasons why this happens but I was determined to keep  trying and to push to breastfeed as much as I could.

We began to triple feed to make sure Isla was getting enough and also to try to increase my supply. If you are new to the idea of “triple feeding”, it essentially is a schedule of nursing: feeding a bottle of breastmilk or formula and pumping for 20 min. I know, this was A LOT! Because we were doing this at the height of the pandemic I thought well, I have nowhere to be so might as well just try. I also am extremely stubborn and once I make my mind up to do something I do it.

With this I started to see my supply increase and Isla started to gain the weight she needed to gain. I never got to a point where I was able to breastfeed exclusively but I fought for every ounce I gave her.

Before we knew it, we made it to 6 months, 8 months and then a YEAR.

Postpartum

My postpartum journey was nothing I thought it would be. Between our breastfeeding struggle, my postpartum depression and throw in the world shutting down in the middle of it all, I really struggled. I am not saying this for sympathy but to encourage you that things don’t always go as planned. Though this was a tough season for me it was still such a beautiful one. God wove this journey and story together for me before I even knew I was pregnant.

Encouragement

I learned so much during this time and there are a few things I wish I would have known that I would love to encourage you with.

Your worth as a mom  is not determined by how long your breastfeeding journey lasts or how much milk you produce. 

This was something I really struggled with. A lot of my postpartum depression played a roll in this but it broke my heart that I was not producing enough for Isla. I felt like such a failure and the idea of supplemnting with formula just crushed me. I eventually came to terms with this but looking back I wish I could just give my postpartum self a hug.

Do what is best for you, your baby and family. 

Whether if you exclusively breastfeed, pump, supplement, formula feed- DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY! Don’t let anyone make you feel less than or like you are doing something wrong. Trust those mama instincts.

Ask for help and surround yourself with a community that will speak life and love into this new season. 

I could not have gotten through this journey and season without my community. It is so important to ask for help. This is a new journey and you will learn every step of the way but you do not have to do it alone.

Go into your journey open minded.

It’s important to educate yourself and plan but I encourage you to go in open minded. Every baby and mama is different. So listen to your gut and listen to your baby. You’ve got this!

Take time to heal and focus on yourself.

I know this is hard as a new mom but this can simply mean making sure you are eating nutritious meals, going for a walk, pouring a glass of wine, taking a bath. Do something to fill your cup as you continually  pour out daily to serve your family.

The Beauty In The Journey

I am so proud of my breastfeeding journey. Was is perfect- NO! Nothing in life is but it as I stated before, was the journey God intended for me and Isla. I hope that this post gives you so much encouragement. I also pray is does not scare you. Though my breastfeeding and postpartum journey was filled with a lot of hard work it was filled with an abundance of beautiful moments and memories.

I will forever cherish the memories I made spending hours feeding, bottle feeding  and pumping. You’ve got this mama! You are so strong and capable!

Resources

To help you build a beautiful community to support and encourage you here are a few resources that were vital in my breastfeeding and postpartum healing journey.

Vital Chiropractic

Our INCREDIBLE chiropractor that helped us every step of the way through pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding and beyond.

Bayou City Breastfeeding

The lactation consultant we used and loved!

Kori Meloy

Kori is a sweet friend who shares and reached all on motherhood and metabolism. I encourage you to check her out. Her IG has great breastfeeding information. She is amazing!

Karrie Locher

Karrie is a RN sharing all things breastfeeding and postpartum. A super helpful resource throughout my breastfeeding journey.

There are lots of facebooks groups to join as well for support and encouragement.

Breastfeeding Essentials

Pumps we used 

Elvie Pump

Medela Symphony Breastpump 

*Most insurance companies will cover the cost of your pump. We rented our Medela from our Hospital. 

Again, I pray this is a helpful and encouraging resource. My DM’s and comments are always open  if you ever have any questions or just need a little bit of mom to mom advice.

YOU ARE SO LOVED!

XX, Tay